Wedding Gift Must-Haves of the 1870s and '80s

 

                                    Pickle castors seemed to be the must-have wedding gift.

If you were a middle-class Protestant couple getting married in the 1870s and ‘80s, there were three nearly certain things: you were marrying at the bride’s parents’ home; everyone would sit down to a dinner cooked by your mother, and you were getting at least one pickle castor as a gift. Most likely, you were getting four or five. 

     What was a pickle castor? What were other typical gifts? Long lists of gifts accompanied many wedding announcements in the newspapers, giving us a glimpse into what was valued by middle and upper-class folk. It was common to state that the gifts were “numerous and costly,” or “useful and costly.” Useful was in the eye of the beholder - or the time period, as the majority of gifts were tableware of all sorts - including the pickle castor. 

     People pickled a lot, and ate a lot of pickled produce. A pickle castor was a decorative glass jar resting in a metal holder, typically with a tall, ornate handle, and a matching set of tongs. Their popularity was at its height from 1860 to 1890, and they were considered a status symbol. 

     There weren’t gift registries in those days, and people received many duplicate items. A couple in Boonville, Indiana in 1882 received nine pickle castors, a castor set (a metal stand with an ornate handle that held decorative glass jars for condiments such as mustard and vinegar) and two pickle dishes. Many other couples received four or five pickle castors.

     This was an era of formal dining, with a tablecloth and napkins expected on a proper table. The Victorians enjoyed having a large array of highly specific tableware, each item serving just one purpose. Hence, brides often received a sugar spoon, a berry spoon, an orange spoon, oyster spoons, a mustard spoon, jelly spoons, dessert spoons, iced tea spoons, souvenir spoons - and of course, a pickle fork. Every bride seemed to receive fruit dishes, cake stands, cake baskets, silver napkin rings (anything silver was popular), and table linens (damask was popular). Silver toothpick holders, celery vases, nut crackers, butter dishes and syrup pitchers and molasses pitchers were on the “must have” list. In addition to the popularity of anything silver, Majolica plates, pitchers and other items were popular throughout the 1880s.

     Some items, like the pickle castor, need an explanation today. They include:

• Water sets. This was something that was on almost everyone’s gift list. A water set was an insulated pitcher (silver, of course) on a tray, with a stand that held the pitcher and swung forward to pour. This was appreciated as the pitcher was often ten to 25 pounds empty. It usually came with a matching set of tumblers or goblets. These were expensive, typically starting in the $50 range. To give that some context, female teachers in Montgomery County, Kansas were paid an average salary of $29.55 per month in 1886. (Male teachers averaged $51.74.)

• Camp chairs. Most homes were small. Camp chairs were folding chairs, often quite elaborate, and including folding rocking chairs.

• Card receivers. This was for the calling cards left by one’s lady friends as she made her social rounds.

• Hair receiver. Women kept a little dish at their dressing table for the hair they cleaned out of their combs and brushes. There was a hole in the lid of the hair receiver to insert the hair. This was used to stuff pin cushions, make hair art and jewelry - a popular craft, or to make a rat - a hair pad for the pouffed hairstyles. 

• Tidies. These were also called antimacassars. They were small cloths placed on the back of arm chairs and on armrests of upholstered furniture to protect them from the hair oil that was popular for men. 

     In addition to these items that are unusual today, or all that tableware, it’s surprising how much of an impractical nature was so commonly given. Couples - but especially women - lived at home with their parents until marriage, so they presumably needed everything to set up a household. Good luck horseshoes, “plush” albums, canaries in a birdcage, perfume stands, cut-glass perfume bottles, handkerchief receivers, steel engravings, jewelry cases, ink stands, velvet picture frames, stereoscopes with views, stationary boxes - often with thermometers - and wall brackets were items that appear repeatedly in the gift lists. There were many mentions of books given as gifts, usually poetry, Shakespeare or Macauley’s History of England. A few couples received busts of literary figures such as Shakespeare, Byron and Dickens. Books and busts of literary figures showed one’s good taste and education. This was an era of people reading aloud to each other in the evenings as entertainment, so maybe poetry books belong in the “useful” category. One lucky Coffeyville, Kansas bride received an organ from her parents, another a piano. 

     Handmade items included quilts, “hand-painted banners,” the tidies, which were often elaborately embroidered; decorative pillows, pin cushions, and oil paintings.  One couple received a wreath of “white feather flowers,” another got a handmade shelf lambrequin- a decorative cloth that hung off the edges of the shelf.

     Still, there were practical gifts. There were many towels and bedspreads and pillowcases, sewing baskets, lamps, brush and comb sets. Parents of the bride or groom gave “big ticket” items, especially furniture such as a bedroom set, a cookstove, or a deed to property. Ledru Guthrie and Minnie Capps were given a house and lot on Washington Avenue in Wellington, Kansas in 1881 by the bride's parents. Rocking chairs - wicker and “patent” - and marble-topped tables were “big.” So were carpets, and parlor lamps or hanging lamps. A few brides received sewing machines. 

     My favorite, though, are the truly ordinary, practical items, like rolling pins, brooms and mops, flour sieves, potato mashers, irons and iron holders, wash bowl-and-pitcher sets, clothespins and clothespin holders (a surprisingly popular gift), a clothesline, cash gifts of $1 to $5, a coal oilcan, a coffee pot, a tea kettle, a set of curtain rods, a scrap bag (fabric scraps were saved) and a duster. One Emporia bride received nine dozen wire clothespins in 1884. A Kansas City bride, Miss Minnie Smith, received a broom decorated with "floral horseshoes" from her bridesmaid, popular teacher Miss Calaway. Included was a poem:

This simple gift I pray thee take,

An off'ring for thy bridesmaid's sake;

And when you go to sweep a room,

Be sure to use the donor's broom.

Long may you live in joy and peace,

and ere life's clouds grow thick,

In sunshine use the "bushy part,"

In shadow, use the "stick."

     Even better were the farm gifts. For example, various couples received a load of hay, a hundred pounds of flour, a thirty-pound bag of oats, a thoroughbred Plymouth Rock rooster, a heifer and calf, three live turkeys, a cord of wood, and 30 bushels of apples. In 1882 in Emporia May Randolph received a Galloway cow and a plot of land from her father.

Then there were the most modest of gifts. One bride received five cakes from four neighbor women - probably the only cake that was served. Another couple were given watermelons. At a wedding in a small Kansas town, with only modest gifts listed, five people came with bouquets of flowers, surely from their garden, and all they could afford to bring. These were gifts from the heart.

Sources:

Note: I looked at so many articles to compile the information above, and chose not to list each one. For the very curious, search for wedding gifts, water pitchers or pickle castors in a newspaper site, with whatever years you want. Here is a small sample of the sources I used:

  Crystal Wedding," Columbus Courier (Columbus, Kansas), 17 April 1879, p. 3.

"Hark! The Merry Bells Are Ringing. Marriage of Mr. Isaac Seymour and Miss Anella Prouty," The Topeka Daily Capital, 19 June 1879, p. 4.

"Hymenial. Marriage of Mr. Isaac Seymour to Miss Amelia Prouty," The Topeka State Journal, 10 June 1879, p. 4.

"Wedding Bells. Bauslin-Amborn," Peabody Reporter (Peabody, Kansas), 1 July 1880, p. 1.

"Hymenial," The Golden Gate (Newton, Kansas), 15 Dec 1880, p. 3. (Two double weddings)

"Wedding Bells. Murray-Sprague -- A brilliant and Happy Occasion," The Osage City Free Press (Osage City, Kansas), 20 Oct 1881, p. 4.

"Made Man and Wife," The Sumner County Press (Wellington, Kansas), 8 Dec 1881, p. 3.

"Marriage Bells. The Hanna-Buswell Wedding," Independent Journal (Ottawa, Kansas), 22 Dec 1881, p. 2.

"A Junction-Manhattan Wedding," Junction City Weekly Union (Junction City, Kansas), 21 Jan 1882, p. 3.

Cupid's Crown - Happily Placed at the Union of Frank Keeler and May Randolph," The Weekly News-Democrat (Emporia, Kansas), 2 Nov 1882, p. 4.

"Wedding Chimes. Marriage of D.L. Rowlands to Miss Anna J. Jones of Arvonia," Emporia Republican (Emporia, Kansas), 24 June 1884, p. 3.

Teacher salaries: Coffeyville Weekly Journal, 20 Nov 1886, p. 2. 

"Marriages. Wedding in Kansas City, Kansas," Women's Mission Star (Salina, Kansas), 20 dec. 1889, p. 1.

Other:

Venable, Charles L. "The Silverplated Ice Water Pitcher: An Image of Changing America, 1850-1900,"

Material Culture, Vol. 19, No. 1 (Spring 1987), pp. 39-48.

Copyright Andrea Auclair © 2023